Early May update

Hello everyone! I just relized that I have not updated this blog since we have been home. It has been busy with the boys---Jay is playing T-ball at Wheelersburg, Drew is sorta playing T-ball at SSU he was upset that he is too little to play at Wheelersburg and we are adding on to our house and this counselor doens't know where to put windows or how to pick out showers!

It was wonderful going to Guatemala and spending time with Emma. I honestly think leaving her was one of the hardest things Rob and I have ever had to do. No matter how you try to prepare yourself for it---it is still beyond words difficult. Astrid, her foster mom, is truly wonderful. I cannot say enough about her. Handing Emma over to her and seeing her look at Astrid when she talked to Emma was wonderful. She practiced saying "Emma" and will start calling her that instead of Kimberly. Astrid speaks very limited English. We had such a difficult time with the language barrier. Even with translators, I believe so much is lost through translation and am kicking myself for not sucking it up and taking 4 years of HS Spanish with Senora! (Those of you who knew me from HS will completely understand that last sentence!)

We have not received an update on Emma since we returned on the 16th of April. I am dying not knowing how she is doing---how she is sleeping, eating and what is going on in her life. I didn't really get how difficult this process is. Everyone is being so supportive and asking about Emma and what is the latest EVERYWHERE I go--as much as I LOVE that everyone wants to know about her it is bittersweet to have to say "Honestly I have no idea."! (Please keep those questions coming--I really am touched that you guys care and are is so excited about Emma---I just wish I had more to share with each of you!)

My mom and I are going to visit June 19th-26th. Rob doesn't really want to go back until we are able to bring her home---I am not going to let him wait that long. I am planning a trip for his birthday in August. As hard as it is leave her---not being there is just as hard. I have wanted to pack up and go back since we returned. I keep trying to talk to Rob in to just packing up and going there with the boys. We could stay in Antigua--it is so beautiful, on the ocean and a much safer area. There are language schools that people from all over the world go to study Spanish...it would be AWESOME for the boys to get to go and learn about the culture and language from native speakers at such an young age when their brains are wired to learn. But---of course Rob has to be practical and "businessie" and burst my dream with how would pay for this or that---or throw out the "what would you do without your McDonalds diet coke?" He makes me laugh and rethink the situation--diet coke is tough to give up!

People ask me how we do it.....how do you leave our little baby there and come back here and go on with your day to day activities. I am honest and say it is hard. But there is no other choice. We have two super little boys that keep us on our toes and this is what we signed up for. We knew that visiting was a great gift but would make the waiting more difficult and seem to take longer. It has---there is one thing about seeing cute sweet pictures and falling in love with them....but when you know how your little girl feels,smells, eats, cries, and laughs it just makes being separated from her so much rougher. Her foster mom is very scheduled---not like me---and we know that in Guatemala at 8 EVERY, I do mean EVERY, night Emma is taking a bath. So at 10:00 when the boys (and usually Rob too) are asleep and the clock reads 10:00, I think about her and wonder how she is doing and if she is enjoying her bath. For those 5-10 minutes I feel the closest to her...because I know what she is doing. It is important for me to feel that small connection to her every day.

We are awaiting pictures of her any time this week along with her medical update. This could be the BEST mother's day present in the world! I did hear today from the agency that our lawyer is waiting for the last paper needed to get our DNA authorization so we can move forward. The last month has been used for gathering papers from not one, not two but THREE countries---US, Guatemala and El Salvador!

I will post new pictures as soon as I can. I will also try not to take so long to blog again! I know several you are checking my site (I can tell my the increased visitor volume) for updates!

Please continue to keep our baby and our family in your thoughts and prayers. We are praying that we will be able to bring Emma home by the holidays!


Thanks for reading,