Missing Emma (and sharing some older pics)

I am missing Emma....so what better thing to do but share some of my favorite pictures. These are from our last visit in August. I think some of these pictures really show her personality. She has an inner voice and strength that demands attention. It is amazing that even with her being so little and my limited time with her, I feel like I know her personality. She is a strong, beautiful little girl who has had a truly tragic beginning. I try to think about what it was like for her to be removed from the only person she knew--Lilliana and given to Astrid. Then the periodic visit trips where she is taken away from Astrid and given to me. How confusing and difficult must that be for her! Research says children are resilient but you wonder what the long term effect of these disrupted attachments will be on Emma. The adoption community argues over it if it is better to visit frequently or not because of the continued attachment disruption that occurs when the baby is taken away from the primary care giver (in our case Astrid). I truly believe that visiting is positive and important because even with the disruptions that are occurring every 6 or so weeks (yes that is how frequently I am trying to visit) in the end it will be easier for her to be with us when we are finally united as a family forever. It is going to happen...and that is what I have to focus on. When Astrid gives her to us that final time it will not be like she is handing her over to strangers. She will be giving her to people she knows love her and have spent time loving and caring for her in the past. The other important aspect of my visits are the connection we have made to Emma's foster family. I do not believe I would have been able to truly establish a friendship with her foster family if I wasn't given the opportunity to visit several times and see them as frequently as I have. They are great people and have truly exceeded my expectations of what Emma's first family would be like. She is one lucky girl and I cannot wait to see her again....one week from Friday I will get to hold her again...but who's counting?